EA Byrne's Remarkable Art Phrase Collection
1 day performance by The Official Town Crier to the Lord Mayor of London.
Held at the Ar Car Boot Fair, Brick Lane, London.
14 June 2009


Hour 1

In the end the art must win, prizes or no prizes.
This is all very now-looking.
He should make his art worse.
A work of art of rare heft and cleverness.
Simply perpetuating the kind of anti-intellectual resentment against art that is usually to be found in the tabloids.
Combining the nerve of an activist with the wit of an artist.

Hour 2

Can work only as a subtle satire on the earnest naivety of the Hoxton art scene Provokes cheerful horror.
I have just been to heaven, and it would be unfair of me not to share with you the impact of what I saw there.
Perversely rescues from junk culture everything that offends good taste.
Having spent so long in a cultural ghetto of its own making, the artworld is now desperate to include, and be included in society.
Slackerish, style-over-substance ethos.

Hour 3

Very few contemporary artists consciously go against the flow especially at art school Bobs up and down cheerfully in the gallery.
Are these all, as Metzger would have it, all just undifferentiated manifestations of a rapacious, capitalist, techno-military society which is out of control.
Aptly describes the contemporary angst of picture making.
The paintings are awful, indefensible, crapulous.
so dreadful are they that one might be forgiven for thinking there must be something to them. There isn't, except a lot of ranting.
Perhaps disappointingly a worthy show.

Hour 4

The art world is dirty, corrupt and immoral.
He seduces many of us into thinking of him as a major talent.
Whipping up the art-historical equivalent of a storm in a teacup.
It’s more porn than art.
The spin paintings were always miserable and the big bronzes are boring.
Bare-faced, money-grabbing, hype-fests.

Hour 5

You move through the space expecting to be cut in half by the death-ray.
I found the work like watching the antics of provincial types on acid.
Like a slightly arty birthday card.
Cheeky and outrageously bling.
Monet (better pronounced ‘money’ in the context of these sell-out shows).
His work has looked distinctly wobbly, lost and repetitive for years.

Hour 6

He should make his art worse.
I found the paintings cool (not cool like the Fonz, but cool like marble).
Cheeky and outrageously bling.
I’ve never done anything quite as goosebump-inducing as going one-on-one with this piece.
The damn things deliver a miraculous visual punch.
Misshapen and ugly in just the right way.